Song of the Moment #2

The Dangling Conversation

By Simon and Garfunkel

Its a still life water color,

Of a now late afternoon,

As the sun shines through the curtained lace

And shadows wash the room.

And we sit and drink our coffee

Couched in our indifference,

Like shells upon the shore

You can hear the ocean roar

In the dangling conversation

And the superficial sighs,

Are the borders of our lives.

And you read your Emily Dickinson,

And I my Robert Frost,

And we note our place with bookmarkers

That measure what we've lost.

Like a poem poorly written

We are verses out of rhythm,

Couplets out of rhyme,

In syncopated time

Lost in the dangling conversation

And the superficial sighs,

Are the borders of our lives.

Yes, we speak of things that 'matter',

With words that must be said,

Can analysis be worthwhile?

Is the theater really dead?

And how the room is softly faded

And I only kiss your shadow,

I cannot feel your hand,

You're a stranger now unto me

Lost in the dangling conversation.

And the superficial sighs,

In the borders of our lives.

Beautifully Intelligent Love Quotes

"She appeared, and at that very moment, and I speak the Truth, the vital spirit, the one that dwells in the most secret chamber of the heart, began to tremble so violently that even the most minute veins of my body were strangely affected." (Dante. Vita Nuova ch. II, line 10)

"This heart of mine, my lady, has been so firmly faithful that every thought keeps me a slave to you. It was early yours and never changed alliance." (Dante. Vita Nuova ch. XII, line 30)

"If I could write the beauty of your eyes, and in fresh numbers, number all your graces; the age to come would say, 'This poet lies. Such heavenly touches ne'er touched earthly faces.'" (Shakespeare. Sonnet XVII)

"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove. O, no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken!" (Shakespeare. Sonnet CXVI)

So, yes. Those are a few of my favorite quotes of all time. Not sure why, but they give me butterflies. Why don't people write like this anymore?

100 things about Kami

::A list of random Kami facts::
1. I am addicted to writing in a journal. . . I have like, 4 of them that I write in daily. Whew.
2. I was born in Orem Communtiy Hospital. . . .The only other people I know born there are Dan Johnson and Taylor Shumway.
3. Watching M*A*S*H is my guilty pleasure.
4. That, and listening to Karen Carpenter. . . "Don't you remember you told me you loved me, baby?"
5. I don't think I could live somewhere without Mountains. . .They make me feel safe and secure.
6. I love spending time on my hair and makeup. It's so fun to me. I'm so girly!
7. I love to rebuild old cars and get greasy too, though!
8. My favorite color varies all the time. So, don't bother trying to ask me what it is, you'll get a different answer every time you ask.
9. I am a hopeless romantic. I don't mind that, really . . . but it would be nice if I could do without the 'hopeless' part. It gets depressing sometimes.
10. I love the rain. I could lay outside in a thunderstorm, and be completely content, as long as I wasn't sick with a cold the day after . . .
11. I just realized that I do that 'dot-dot-dot' thing way too much. You know, . . .?
12. I carry around my mom and dad'ssenior pictures in my wallet. I like to look at them.
13. People tell me I do a good "Sid the Sloth" impression.
14. Some of my friends refuse to watch Jurassic Park with me, because I spend the whole movie correcting and criticizing all the falsehoods they put in there.
15. Sometimes I take pleasure in being an 'insufferable know-it-all' (as Snape would say)
16. As evidenced by that last one, I am a complete Harry Potter nerd. I've gone to the all night book parties for all the books. Well, except the first ones. It wasn't all big back then.
17. I have cankles. You know, where your calf goes straight into your ankle. Yup. Sad Story.
18. I like to pretend that I know alot about politics, when really I just b.s. most of it. . .
19. I have this tremendous fear of never falling in love and getting married. I'll end up being a miserable old maid, with 40 cats.
20. Speaking of cats, I'm allergic to them.
21. I've never had a dog or a cat as a pet.
22. When I was a little kid, I peed my pants alot. I think I was too lazy to stop doing what I was doing in the first place. I've never really told anyone that. . . . so embarrassing
23. When I get married, I want to live in England and raise my kids there. Then, move when my child is in like, 5th grade so when we come back to America, they'll have a cool accent and everyone will want to hang out with my child. Yup. That'd be cool.
24. I sometimes wish that I was Belle from Beauty and the Beast. She's one of my idols. Wierd.
25. I've watched the movie Ever After a ba-jillion times. Almost.
26. When I was little, I had a crush on Elvis Presley, and every time I saw a shooting star, I wished that I could see an Elvis concert in heaven . . . if Heavenly Father allowed that sort of music. ;p
27. In 1st grade, during reading time (you know, when the whole class would read together but only one kid at a time) I used to correct all the little kids for saying stuff wrong, and criticize them for reading too slowly. The teacher had to put me and another little girl in a reading group by ourselves because we made the other kids feel bad about themselves. I was a jerk!
28. In 7th grade, Crystalyn made fun of me, behind my back, because I had this really cool Mickey Mouse backpack. (Evidently it was too juvenile for Jr. High). Meanwhile, I thought I finally had a friend, because she was nice to me . . . until I wasn't around. I still don't let her live that down!
29. In 9th grade, my friends and I all auditioned for Bugsy Malone, and I was the only one who didn't make it. So I had to be the costumer instead. The whole time, I was wishing that they would have some terrible 'wardrobe malfunction'. Yeah, I was bitter.
30. I hate shaving my legs. It's such a waste of time, but I do it anyway. Why does hair even grow there in the first place???
31. I think I trust people too readily. That's the source of many of life's problems, for me.
32. I used to watch Zoom all the time, back when it wasn't cool. I'd never admit to it, though.
33. My Favorite numbers are 3, 7, and 8. They've always been lucky for me.
34. I listen to NPR frequently. (Nationaly Public Radio, for those not in-the-know)
35. I am a grammar/spelling NAZI! To the point of extremity, sometimes. I think I'm really annoying about it.
36. My hair is naturally curly in the front. Stick straight in the back though. Annoying!
37. I like eating peanut butter and potato chip sandwiches. YUM!

38. I use the word awkward way too frequently. It prolly annoys some people.
39. I got that word 'prolly' from Kevin May in like, 9th grade.
40. I'm the girl who always has to have a boyfriend, or else I feel like something is wrong with me.
41. Right now is the first time in my life (since 1st grade) that I haven't had a crush on anyone. It's kind of discomforting.
42. http://www.homestarrunner.com/. I waste my life away on this website. But I'm kind of ashamed of it.
43. My mom never cooks dinner. We always go out, or eat Easy Mac, and Peanut butter sandwiches. Sometimes we are lucky enough to get a Stoffer's pre-made lasagna. Sad, huh?
44. I could NEVER be a vegitarian. I'm more carnivore than omnivore, I think.
45. When I was little, my grandma would take Brock (my bro) and I fossil hunting. Now Brock's a paleontoligist guy.
46. I used to blow up my Barbie dolls when I was little. And cut their hair so they looked like they were in the military.
47. I was really fat when I was two years old. It was cah-razy!
48. I'm addicted to Victoria's Secret Lovespell and Bath and Body Works' Coconut Lime Verbena & Black Cherry Vanilla. YUM!
49. I used to have a karaoke machine when I was a kid, and once, my brother thought that I was crying when I was actually singing. That made me feel bad.
50. WOOT! Halfway done! Lets see . . . I play the harmonica, but it's kind of hard with braces. I'm not very good.
51. I have this wierd nervous habit where I scratch my left arm if I feel incredibly uncomfortable. (ie: in breakup situations, etc.) Once, I scratched so hard I bled, but I do it subconsiously. I'm wierd.
52. When I eat skittles and m&m's, I have to eat them by color.
53. I'm the youngest child in my family. Woot! that means i get spoiled.
54. I have a wierd obsession of making sure my presents that I give look really cute. I always have to wrap them and tie them w/ ribbons. Or put it in a cute bag with matching tissue paper. I'm OCD about it.
55. I pretend like I know how to sew really well, but I kinda suck. My mom even tells me I do. In a nice way.
56. I have this dream of restoring a 1956 Nash Metropolitan. And painting it cream and mauve.
57. I have this thing for pearls. I think I'd opt for a pearl necklace over a diamond one.
58. I want to live in NYC one day. But only for a little while. Prolly a year, tops.
59. If I lived there, I'd waste all my money on Broadway Shows.
60. I've never been hunting. I think if you go, you should use every part of the animal. People who kill for the antlers or whatev . . .that makes me mad.
61. When I'm bored at work, I practice writing my signature over and over. I don't know why.
62. I'm guilty of writing my name, but with the last name of the current crush. Just when I'm doodling though, not on any legal documents or anything (thought I would clear that up.)
63. I only like eggs if they are scrambled.
64. I used to eat peanut butter off a spoon when I was a kid. (sometimes I still do!)
65. I've read the book "The Princess Bride" and I think it's better than the movie.
66. Sometimes I read Popular Science Magazine.
67. I have hayfever. In elementary, when my allergies bugged me, I used to say I had pink eye, so that I could go home for the day. Such a liar!
68. I prefer crunchy peanut butter. It's tasty.
69. I eat wierd sandwiches: ham and jelly . . . peanut butter and potato chips, etc.
70. My eyes change color with my mood, or what I'm wearing.
71. I've never been able to do a handstand, and stay up for longer than 10 seconds.
72. I shower twice a day. Wierd.
73. I have a pact made with Payden that if we aren't married by the time we are 30, we'll get married. (was it 30, Payd? I don't remember!)
74. I have a wierd obsession with long beaded necklaces.
75. I haven't been to a haunted house since I was really little. I'm too scared of them.
76. I sleep with a nightlight, is that so wrong?
77. I still eat snow! HAH!
78. I take pride in knowing all the words to "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.
79. I had a huge crush on Paul McCartney. Had?? who am I kidding . . I still do. But he's old . . .and married.
80. I write poetry, but I suck.
81. I've been paid to do other people's homework.
82. I don't have a cell phone. . . duh Duh DUH!!! (shocking!)
83. I used to think I was in Love with Eric Geels. I'm so glad he still talks to me, after all my annoying stalker-like tendencies!
84. My freezer downstairs is full of popsicles and icecream sandwiches! YUM!
85. I pretend like I can play the guitar, but I only know like, 10 chords!
86. I'm really opinionated. And stubborn.
87. I've never broken a bone before.
88. I used to write in some form of ancient text. (I had this dictionary that showed all sorts of ancient characters, so I used it as a code! Yeah, I was cool.)
89. In like, 4th grade, my friend Holly and I decided to start a rumor club, because we were bored. I don't know. But then, this other girl Melissa joined and they voted me out of the club. I cried.
90. I used to think I had magical hexing powers. I used to be really strange.
91. I didn't start going to church until I moved to Lehi. My family was inactive for 12 years!
92. I feel really guilty for all the times I fell asleep in Seminary.
93. I think I'm 'fat' (not huge. but not skinny). But I'm too lazy to do something about it.
94. I used to have Joey McIntire sheets on my bed. (New Kids on the Block is so cool!)
95. I don't really have alot of freckles. The ones I do have are in really random places. (ie: the side of my pointer finger, on my right shoulder.)
96. I'm self consious.
97. I like reading Shakespeare and Homer and Dante.
98. I like being kissed on the forehead. It's been a long time since that has happened.
99. My dad and I quote the movie "O Brother Where Art Thou" frequently! ('course it's Pete, look at 'im)
100. I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday! (except for a swiss cake roll! tasty.)
I'M FINALLY FINISHED!!!!! Yay!

Old Hollywood

"I am so sick of seeing history's most beautiful female actors portrayed as old women. How many times have you seen Joan Crawford as a 50 year old with enormous eyebrows and clown-like lipstick, Bette Davis as a shaky old woman with a cigarette, Elizabeth Taylor at 220 pounds, or Shirley MacLaine as a psychic nutcase? These actresses burst onto the Hollywood scene as beautiful young women, and they should be remembered as the gorgeous girls that they were." This blog is my shrine to them. It's my blog, so I can do whaever I want. So there.
Clara Bow. She was the "It" girl of the 1920s. She was like America's first sex symbol. See her movie 'It'
Greta Garbo. (1930s). She was so great! And incredibly beautiful. Her portrayal of Anna Karenina in 1935 was amazing. My favorite quote of hers is:"I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be left alone.' There is all the difference in the world."
Bette Davis. (1930s). So many songs have been written about her. Ever heard of Bette Davis Eyes? Yup. She's a beauty. And one of the greatest dancers of all time.
Jean Harlow. (1930s). The original blonde bombsell. Marilyn patterned alot of her signature 'pouty looks' off of early Jean Harlow films. Just so you know.
Joan Crawford (1930s). Back when she was beautiful. I wish America remembered her like this. Look at how gorgeous she was!
Alice White. (1930s). She used to tour with the original Vaudeville company. How cool is that? Amazing!!!
Liz Taylor. (1940s). One of the most beautiful women of this century, and the last great actress to come out of Old Hollywood.
Hedy Lamarr. (1940s). She turned down the lead role in Casablance when they offered it to her. I was so upset when I learned that, because she is AMAZING! See her film "White Cargo." Her quote: "Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid."
Lauren Bacall. (1940s). She married Humphrey Bogart in 1945, when she was just 20 years old, and stayed with him until 1957, when he died of throat cancer. I wish actresses today were as loyal. Her quote: "Find me a man who's interesting enough to have dinner with and I'll be happy."
Ginger Rogers. They patterned the movie star, "Ginger Grant" (from Gilligan's Island) After Ginger Rogers and Cary Grant, two of Hollywood's greatest personalities. Her best movie, by far, is "Top Hat" with Fred Astaire. The Dancing is incredible. Her quote:"When two people love each other, they don't look at each other, they look in the same direction"
Grace Kelly. (1940s). Proof that the fairy-tale 'happily-ever-after' is achievable, this amazing woman left her flourishing career to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco. The people of Monaco loved her right up until the day she died. She was only 57.
Audrey Hepburn. (1950s). I can't say enough about her. She is the BEST acress of all time. Movies like "Breakfast at Tiffany's", "Roman Holiday", "Funny Face", "Sabrina", and "Wait Until Dark" attest to that. I am so sad that I never got to meet her. She died in 1993. Her quote: "I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."
Shirley MacLaine. (1950s). She was so beautiful. I'm very frustrated that she spent all those years smoking, which wrecked her looks, and her amazing voice.

Anyway. That's my tribute to all the beautiful women that I look up to. Go see their movies. DO IT! --Kami

Simon and Garfunkel

I am just a poor boy, though my story's seldom told, I have squandered my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles, such are promises. All lies and jest still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. . . . In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade and he carries a reminder of every glove that laid him down or cut him 'till he cried out, in his anger and his shame, "I am leaving, I am leaving" but the fighter still remains.
What a dream I had, pressed in organdy, clothed in crinoline of smoky burgandy, softer than the rain.
But all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity, like emptiness and harmony, I need someone to comfort me.
I have no need for friendship, friendship causes pain, it's laughter and it's loving I disdain. . .Don't talk of love, I've heard the word before. It's sleeping in my memory. I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died, if I never loved, I never would have cried. . . I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor. Hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one, and no one touches me.
look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes . . .where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio, a nation turns it's lonely eyes to you.
Blankets and bedclothes, a child of the mountains sleeps unaware of the clarion call. . .washed is the ground with so many tears . . .war bellows, blazing in scarlet battalions, generals order their soldiers to kill, and to fight for a cause they've long ago forgotten.

Aren't these lyrics amazing. Why don't all bands/groups have such amazing songwriters?? I love Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel, officially.

Late night blog.

I posted this forever ago, (ie: June 19, 2006) But, I'm deleting the site it was on, so . . .I posted it on here, because I want to keep it. the end. -ks

So, it's late. and i'm up. Eating burritos (yum).
I can't really sleep. I'm not tired, at all! I guess I've got alot of things on my mind. Okay, so not really alot of things, just one thing. Edwin. I think about him too much. It's so weird, because I really miss him, but I still see him alot. I mean, we do stuff together, we hang out . . but it's just not the same, you know? I don't know.
He's been hanging out with Dani Black alot, and man, do I love her - but I'm beginning to feel a little threatened. I told my mom that I felt like she was swooping in on my territory, and she just laughed at me. I don't know why I'm getting really possesive of him all the sudden.
I just realized that he has a myspace, and will probably be reading this. Oops. Oh well. Hey Ed. don't get all weirded out by this - just spilling some thoughts that need to get out of my head.
Anyway, I just feel really weird about the whole situation. I didn't want to end things with him. But he chose to, and I guess that if it makes him happy, and if I really care about him, then I should be willing to do whatever makes him comfortable. But I don't like not being with him. So, consequently, I begin to think that maybe I don't care about him as much as I think I do, which is absolutely not true, I just want him to be happy, AND me to be happy. Why does one person's happiness always have to affect another's? That's what I think is screwed up.
I still haven't stopped crying about it since my birthday [for those of you not 'in the know', that's when he broke up with me. Messed up, Ed :) ]. I told him that I still cried, and he said he was really sorry, and he sounded genuinely sorry, so that made me feel a little better.
I just hope he did it because of the upcoming mission, and stuff. And not because he secretly thinks I'm some sort of a stalker-creepy-guy. (well, I guess there was that one time. . . . JUST JOKIN')
Anyway, so that's my thoughts on Ed. If any of you are still reading by this point and want to add some input, feel free.
Also, try not to mock me too much, but a little is okay.
THE END!
Goodnight, I'm tired!

Sucks?

I can't figure this out. and by this, I mean LIFE. I mean, what is it that I am supposed to be doing here in the first place. I feel like I have no purpose, that I'm just wasting time until I die. Wow, what a contrast this is to the last blog I wrote.

I think he got sick of me. For some reason things aren't going well for him, and so he called it off. I don't know why I let myself get hurt so easily. We weren't even together for all that long, and it still hurts. I'm fine with not being his girlfriend, whatever. It's just a title anyway, right? The thing that sucks is, I couldn't make him happy. WHY? What is wrong with me that I can't seem to function right the second I get into a relationship. I'm always worried about making a fool of myself.

But, the second I'm not IN a relationship, I feel worthless. Like there must be something wrong with me. All of my friends will have boyfriends, etc, etc, so . . .why don't I? Am I not as pretty as they are? Am I not smart enough? I HATE feeling this way, and yet, I let it happen with every single thing that doensn't turn out the way I want it to.

I miss being young and carefree. I'm still young, yes, but I think I worry too much about things.

Like this whole blog. So I'm not his girlfriend anymore, GET OVER IT!! It's not the end of the world, WHY is it so hard for me to convince myself of that? UGH! I wish I could express myself the way I used to, but I seem to be in some sort ofd analytical-expressive-communicating rut lately.

Anyway.

Ah, the joys of new Love.

I don't even know what to say. My life is going so well right now. I love this feeling.

Finally I've met a guy that knows how to treat a lady. I'm so utterly extatic. I feel like I could just float on air. You know that feeling with new relationships? Ugh! It's nice.

I'm just afraid all the newness will wear off and he'll get sick of me. Blah.

But for now, I'm ultracontent.

Couldn't ask for a better person to spend my days with.

:::::::::sigh::::::::::

I can't even put any of this into words. I'm in one of my ruts when it comes to writing. Or anything creative for that matter.

Shoot.

Also, I haven't worked out in a bajillion years.

Heading to the gym first thing in the morning.

blah.