I can't figure this out. and by this, I mean LIFE. I mean, what is it that I am supposed to be doing here in the first place. I feel like I have no purpose, that I'm just wasting time until I die. Wow, what a contrast this is to the last blog I wrote.
I think he got sick of me. For some reason things aren't going well for him, and so he called it off. I don't know why I let myself get hurt so easily. We weren't even together for all that long, and it still hurts. I'm fine with not being his girlfriend, whatever. It's just a title anyway, right? The thing that sucks is, I couldn't make him happy. WHY? What is wrong with me that I can't seem to function right the second I get into a relationship. I'm always worried about making a fool of myself.
But, the second I'm not IN a relationship, I feel worthless. Like there must be something wrong with me. All of my friends will have boyfriends, etc, etc, so . . .why don't I? Am I not as pretty as they are? Am I not smart enough? I HATE feeling this way, and yet, I let it happen with every single thing that doensn't turn out the way I want it to.
I miss being young and carefree. I'm still young, yes, but I think I worry too much about things.
Like this whole blog. So I'm not his girlfriend anymore, GET OVER IT!! It's not the end of the world, WHY is it so hard for me to convince myself of that? UGH! I wish I could express myself the way I used to, but I seem to be in some sort ofd analytical-expressive-communicating rut lately.
Anyway.
I think he got sick of me. For some reason things aren't going well for him, and so he called it off. I don't know why I let myself get hurt so easily. We weren't even together for all that long, and it still hurts. I'm fine with not being his girlfriend, whatever. It's just a title anyway, right? The thing that sucks is, I couldn't make him happy. WHY? What is wrong with me that I can't seem to function right the second I get into a relationship. I'm always worried about making a fool of myself.
But, the second I'm not IN a relationship, I feel worthless. Like there must be something wrong with me. All of my friends will have boyfriends, etc, etc, so . . .why don't I? Am I not as pretty as they are? Am I not smart enough? I HATE feeling this way, and yet, I let it happen with every single thing that doensn't turn out the way I want it to.
I miss being young and carefree. I'm still young, yes, but I think I worry too much about things.
Like this whole blog. So I'm not his girlfriend anymore, GET OVER IT!! It's not the end of the world, WHY is it so hard for me to convince myself of that? UGH! I wish I could express myself the way I used to, but I seem to be in some sort ofd analytical-expressive-communicating rut lately.
Anyway.
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